As such, positive relationships and community are good for us.
However, it’s also true that sometimes it’s good to be alone.
Undergoing periods of solitude and tranquility, while remaining at peace with yourself, is an important skill for humans to develop.
More specifically, this is a good emotional skill for humans to develop.
However, this can be a rather difficult task for some people.
The fact of the matter is that some people really struggle with being alone.
This may be especially true for people who deal with abandonment trauma in their life.
People who are terrified of being alone may struggle with learning how to cope with healthy solitude.
However, in this post, we’re going to share three healthy steps that you can take today to start learning how to be happier and healthier with periods of limited, helpful solitude.
Of course, keep in mind that the goal isn’t to become a complete lone wolf.
The goal is to have a thriving and positive social life, while also developing the skills necessary to spend at least a little bit of time alone when you need to, or when it’s good for you.
With that being said, let’s dive into it.
1. Start With An Intentional Focus
If you truly dread being alone, but realize that you’re going to have to spend at least a little bit of time by yourself, it’s always a good idea to attack the problem head-on, with full intentionality and awareness of the situation.
In other words, get really intentional about doing it well.
Say to yourself:
“Okay, I’m about to spend some time alone. This might be difficult for me, but I’m going to make it a project, and I’m going to succeed at it.”
This intentionality can set you up for a heightened level of emotional awareness.
And it can really help you with that aloneness when it comes around.
2. Make A Plan
Before committing to spending time alone, it might be a good idea to make a plan.
For example, if you’re upset about the idea that you may have to spend Valentine’s evening alone, it might be a really good idea to intentionally make plans to occupy yourself—to turn what would otherwise be a negative into a positive.
You can plan to go see a movie, to cook yourself dinner, to watch your favorite show, etc.
When you make a plan, and you lay out some things that you can look forward to during that time of solitude, it can really help you to equate that alone time with more positivity and less negativity.
And that positive association with solitude is really good for us.
3. Try Not To Isolate Yourself
Sometimes, when we get lonely, we’re tempted to retreat into that loneliness and self-isolate.
In some ways, this can make us feel like we’re making headway on the journey of learning to be at peace with solitude.
However, there comes a time when too much solitude can turn into punishment for yourself.
This is especially true if you tend to struggle with solitude to begin with.
Instead of retreating and isolating yourself when you get lonely, try reaching out and forming relationships so that you can spend more time with other people.
While learning to be okay alone is a good thing in small doses, it’s always better to limit that alone time and to take it in small, healthy increments.
This will empower you to actually make progress with associating solitude with positivity, while also ensuring that you get the social interaction that you vitally need as a social creature.