When it comes to dating, friendships, and relationships of all types, there’s a common trope that often shows itself in our validation-seeking culture.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where a lot of people are simply desperate for love and attention.
And because of this, they’re sometimes willing to put up with more than they should in toxic relationships.
In some ways, our culture glorifies sticking with relationships, even if they’re unhealthy.
But this is not the true way.
And it’s not the way to live a life based on holistic health and wellness.
And there’s one statement that really helps to characterize this mindset perfectly.
Never let someone tell you that they don’t want you more than once.
What Exactly Does This Mean?
Unfortunately, it’s a tale as old as time.
People who are in a relationship that’s characterized by mostly conflict (instead of it being a loving relationship based on mutual kindness or respect) may get worked up to the point during arguments where one or more of them jump to saying:
“You know what? I’m done with you.”
We’ve all either been in one of these relationships—or we’ve seen them.
You know… those relationships characterized by that one person who, at the sign of any sort of conflict, throws their hands up into the air and basically says “fine, I quit,” leaving the other person scrambling to backtrack and try to get them to change their mind.
And of course, if the other person gravels and apologizes, they’ll recant on their statement and remain in the relationship.
Sometimes, it’s a manipulation tactic. Sometimes, it’s due to an avoidant attachment style. Sometimes, it’s because the person doesn’t know how to engage in healthy conflict.
But in almost all cases, there’s also one common thing that’s true.
They don’t value this relationship as much as they should to justify sticking with it, and they’re saying as much by stating this out loud.
But Here’s The Problem
Sometimes, if you’re not in a healthy place, you may hear these words and think to yourself…
“Maybe they don’t mean it. Maybe they’re just saying that because they’re upset.”
But here’s the truth.
If you truly respect yourself, you would take these types of words at face value.
You would realize what they mean, and also what their implication is.
See, we all have a responsibility to respect ourselves very highly.
If you don’t respect yourself, other people aren’t going to know that you require respect.
If we don’t even respect ourselves, then we’re going to send messages to other people saying subliminally that they don’t have to respect us.
And in a weird, twisted sort of way—we actually invite disrespect when we operate with this mindset.
So when someone tells you “I’m done” or “I don’t want to be with you,” the best and most self-respecting thing that you could say in response is to say, “okay, you don’t have to tell me twice. I’m out of here, and I’m not looking back.”
When we react to this kind of quasi-game playing rejection with concrete decisiveness, we demonstrate that we’re respecting ourselves to other people.
And we make it clear that we’re not going to put up with games or manipulation.
So the next time someone tells you that they don’t want you, or that they’re done with you, don’t let them tell you twice.
Simply show yourself away from that relationship.
Don’t answer the phone the next time they call, and block them on social media.
If someone really wants you, they’ll never tell you otherwise.
You’ll mean too much to them for them to ever say something like that.
