Dating isn’t always easy.
In fact, it can be downright difficult.
And to a point, this difficulty is made even more pronounced when we’re not sure what we’re doing.
And to another point, this describes almost all of us.
The common dating rhetoric surrounding ‘emotional availability’ is this.
Avoid emotionally unavailable dating partners.
But here’s the thing.
A lot of people don’t even know what this means.
What does it mean to avoid emotionally unavoidable people when dating and forming intimate relationships?
This is a great question.
And in today’s post, that’s exactly what you’re going to learn.
How To Spot An Emotionally Unavailable Person
Here’s the thing.
When you date someone—the healthy mode of being for that relationship is for both of you to have a vested interest in being ‘present’ for the other one on an emotional level.
For example—if your dating partner has a bad day, it stands to reason that you would want to be available to listen to them talk about it, comfort them, reassure them, etc.
And they should want to be present for you in the same way.
But some people don’t make time for this.
They may not see it as being important. Or, they may think to themselves:
“It’s not my responsibility to make my dating partner happy.”
See, the tricky thing is that there’s a measure of truth to this.
It isn’t your responsibility to make your dating partner happy.
But if you love them and care about them, then you’ll be emotionally present anyway.
Because you have a vested interest in investing in this person, to help make their life and day better.
Because you love them and care about them.
See, this is the difference.
Emotionally unavailable people are mostly thinking about themselves when the need arises to be present for their partner.
This could be an indication that they’re not really invested in the relationship.
It could also be a sign that they struggle with emotional closeness.
But in either case, it doesn’t bode very well for you.
It’s in your best interest to date people who are good at both: being emotionally open and close, and invested enough to want to be present and available for you.
5 Signs Of Emotional Unavailability
In case you’re still struggling to see the difference, here’s a list of 5 signs of emotional unavailability, published in an article on Psychcentral.com.
These signs should help to assist you in identifying exactly what it looks like when someone is emotionally unavailable.
- They avoid intimacy
- They avoid commitment
- They get defensive
- They aren’t available… period
- They might not empathize with your feelings
At the end of the day, the quality of your intimate relationships will make a huge difference in how successful and happy you are as a human and a partner.
It really matters.
So making sure that you’re dating someone who is emotionally available is important.
You truly deserve it, and you shouldn’t settle for less.